I did not realize it had been just over a year since my last post and I apologize for that. It has been a ridiculously busy year to say the least so try to bear with me as I prepare this update for you.
First off, a few days after last year’s post regarding the stress of looking for a job, apartment, and a cat, I had my second ever seizure. This, unfortunately, led to several months of uncertainty, frustration, and unanswered questions as I saw doctor after doctor to try and figure out what could be the cause of this particular seizure. My first seizure had happened four years prior, but both had happened during times of intense stress and emotional turmoil so initially my dad and I both thought they might be psychogenic nonepileptic seizures, which, put simply, are seizures not brought on by electrical discharges in the brain. Long story short, after trying three different anti-epileptic drugs and changing neurologists several times, I finally found an epilepsy specialist who told me that I have juvenile myoclonic epilepsy specifically (as opposed to generalized epilepsy) and he prescribed me my current anti-epileptic drug (the fourth one I’ve had to try). However, because I’m either so sensitive to medication and/or side effects, or my JME is very mild, I can only take the smallest possible dose of this medication without its side effects affecting my other medications. And thankfully, this is not the type of epilepsy that affects my ability to play video games.
So, on top of my generalized and social anxiety disorders (because I have now been diagnosed with both), I have this epilepsy to deal with as well. And its primary triggers are basically the same as the anxiety disorders: stress and sleep deprivation. I’ve been told excessive alcohol use can trigger a seizure as well, but I don’t drink because of my migraines so that won’t be an issue for me.
Also during this past year, I have been trying to get on disability and I did finally get approved a few weeks ago after filing an appeal earlier this year. But all the hoop-jumping was very stressful for me because it was excruciating to try to explain and put down on paper what my anxiety can do to me so that the determination committee could understand how limited I am in what I can do in my daily life. Yes, I have days where I can go out and do things like grocery shopping and be social, but those days are far and few between and I usually need a day to recover from it. Plus being in therapy and learning cognitive behavioral therapy has given me helpful coping methods to be able to handle stress and social situations better than I could before. But medication and therapy aren’t cure-alls for everyone. For me, it helps even my moods out and makes it so that I don’t cry over every little mishap. I just feel like it would be hard for anyone with a mental illness to try and explain what they’re going through to someone who has never experienced it.
For the moment, though, I believe I’m ok in a medical sense. All of my meds are cooperating with each other with minimal side effects. I’m journaling pretty regularly to help with the anxiety and I’ve been continuing with the crocheting. My little amigurumi dolls have been selling sporadically, but I’m going to keep making them because it helps calm me down and there are patterns I haven’t done yet. If you’re interested in seeing what I create, please follow the link here to check out my page, Nerdvana Crafts. I am still working to get an Etsy page started, but I have a laundry list of things I want to do after my Christmas show in November to help move the process along, like take new pictures of everything that’s currently available, write up new descriptions, etc.
But for now, I need to take a break and go lay down for a bit. Have a great day, my lovelies. ❤
Reinventing Valentina Wolfe 