Zelda-ed Out

Sorry for not posting much in the past few weeks. It’s been kind of chaotic here.

So, for the past two weeks, my friend Jerad has been spending the night here and playing (almost) every Legend of Zelda game he owns. He recently bought the last three he didn’t have previously, but they were not included in his marathon. He had estimated his gaming marathon at taking 10, maybe 11 days. Today is day 13 and he’s still working on the last one. Sounds like a long vacation of sorts, right?

To be honest, I haven’t minded having him here for that long. I’ve actually been enjoying his company and watching all the different Zelda games, some of which I’ve never played before, and I’m going to be a little sad when he leaves. On the other hand, I haven’t really been on my usual schedule for those two weeks and haven’t had much alone time to decompress so I’m looking forward to having that back tomorrow. But having him here for so long got me thinking on how he’s been a good influence on me and how I’m not completely drained physically or mentally.

Since he’s been here, I’ve had several days where I went over my step goal of 6,000 steps (and yes I know it’s supposed to be 10K a day, but I needed to work up to that from sitting all the time) because I went for walks with him while he went Pokemon hunting and we chatted during those walks, which was nice. I haven’t been stress eating because I’m not all that stressed, despite not having a great deal of work this week, which also means I haven’t touched my chocolate stash in several days. And on top of my lack of stress eating, I’ve been eating healthier foods and snacks all around, from grapes and apple slices to cherries, carrots, and asparagus. It hasn’t all been healthy (like the ice cream bars and the hot dogs and chips) but it’s been pretty balanced overall, which I haven’t really been able to do by myself.

I think the most important thing he’s done while he’s been here is not leave me feeling completely drained and overwhelmed, which is difficult in itself because we’ve also had extra company over the past two weekends that I wasn’t expecting. But he hasn’t made me feel frantic or panicked or anything like that. He knows about my anxiety and has been taking it into account, even going so far as to help with my impromptu babysitting needs. When a discussion about Gia came up (while I was still babysitting), I heard him mention something about trying to coax an apology from me to her (since she had told him she would not apologize to me until I did and maybe then she would admit she overreacted). But my dad told him something, I didn’t quite hear the details because I was in the other room with the four year old girl I was watching, but what I did catch was that after all the stuff Gia had said about me and my family, I was the one deserving of an apology and Jerad said that he hadn’t known about whatever it was my dad told him. Since then, there has been no discussion whatsoever about an apology or about Gia.

I appreciate that he still has faith the friendship will resume after we’ve both had some time to cool off and be apart, but we’ve been “apart” for four years now and I’ve just started to see how toxic she really is. After two years I’ve finally found my voice again, my own personality, and I’m no longer a needy, dependent little girl looking for any friends that’ll have me. I am a strong, independent woman who doesn’t have time for anyone else’s drama or issues. I decide which friends to keep and which friends aren’t worth the effort. Being in a one-sided relationship is never worth it, especially if you’re the only one putting in any effort.

Waiting

Oh man, I am so bad with keeping up with this blog. Anyone else have that problem?? I really will try to post more.

I’ve been a busy bunny the past three weekends and while I had fun all three weekends, I am physically and mentally exhausted. So I’m thinking this next weekend will be a “me”-ekend instead of a “we”-ekend. Don’t get me wrong, I love hanging out with good friends and being part of a community of fellow nerds, but I haven’t had any time to decompress this past week because, well, technically both of my parents were supposed to be off work but mom got called in several days so it was just me and dad at home. And dad likes to have the tv on, which generally doesn’t bother me, because he watches stuff I don’t care about, but it’s distracting, it’s noisy, and in general, it’s just a completely different atmosphere than I’m used to when I’m home alone a lot. Hopefully this week will be better and I can have some quality me time.

So anyway, the reason for the title of this post is because my friend Jared was here yesterday and Friday because as a music teacher, he didn’t have school so he wanted to come visit. Well, as it turns out, Thursday he had found out some unfortunate news, which he said was a mutual decision, but it sounds like he will be looking for work at the end of the school year. So his visit was also kind of like a cheer-up visit after getting that news. Friday was all fine and well. He played games on a small tv he had brought with him while I worked and sort of watched him play. Saturday, however, he said he wanted to go to GameStop because they were having a Pokemon event and he wanted to check it out and maybe buy Final Fantasy XV (which is a great game, I highly recommend it!). Except he wanted to finish the game he had been working on, on Friday because he was doing a speed run.

Turns out he way, way, way underestimated the time it would take to finish the game and instead of being ready to leave at 1:30, we didn’t leave until almost 5. Now, having been told on Thursday he wanted to go to GameStop on Saturday, I was mentally prepared for leaving the house and come Saturday, when he told me 1:30 at the latest, I was also prepared and had that sort of nervous, anticipatory energy. See, I’m the kind of person that when I’m told I’m going to be doing something or going somewhere, I expect to do it immediately at whatever time is indicated and/or promised, and if it doesn’t get done when they say it’s going to be done, I get antsy and impatient.

So 1:30 comes and goes, and now I have all of this anticipatory energy racing through me, which makes me want to run laps or do something, anything to burn it off. I tried gaming for a little bit, and that didn’t really do much. I tried walking laps in the basement and that worked for a while, but got boring fast. I ended up taking my baby blanket downstairs to work on, since the baby it’s for will be almost two months soon and I need to get it finished, and the tedious, meditative actions of my crochet hook soothed me for a while. It didn’t completely quell my nervous energy, but it did give me an outlet to do something productive without requiring a lot of energy because to be honest, I already had a headache and my actual physical energy was pretty low.

We eventually went go GameStop, and then to Walmart, and somewhere for dinner, and to the uneducated eye, it probably looked like a date. It didn’t feel like a date, but that’s because I’m pretty sure he doesn’t see me in that light. However, he did say that it would be his treat since he made me wait literally all day to leave the house. I should’ve told him it’s rude to keep a lady waiting. But I didn’t say anything and as I was looking at the menu, I mentioned an item that sounded amazing; it was a personal pizza, and he actually said to my face, “You know you don’t have to be a cheap date, right?” First off, I wouldn’t have considered it a date in the first place. Second, I wasn’t mentioning it to sound cheap. I mentioned it because it sounded good and it might have been small enough for me to enjoy the whole thing without taking home leftovers. So, just to spite him, sort of, I got myself a small pizza so I would have food to take home, and which I am having for dinner today. We also got fried ice cream to share, which was tasty, but it wasn’t freshly fried and the size of the ice cream was as big as a baseball, which, after the dinner and appetizer we’d had, was really huge. By some miracle, we did finish it, but damn, that was a lot of food.

So yes, I’m confused, but as he’s one of three people I actually like hanging out with, I guess I’ll keep him. He normally doesn’t leave me physically and mentally exhausted, but this visit was different only in that I had a busy weekend last weekend and no time to really decompress this week with my parents being home. So this coming week and weekend will be full of me-time. No plans, no leaving the house, just me doing whatever I want, whenever I want.