Yesterday I met someone. Not in the Match.com way where you’re looking for someone to date, although it might sound like that from my descriptions. No, I met someone who I would like to have as a friend because we have a lot in common. Also, having done a lot of soul-searching and self reflection in 2016, I’ve come to the very difficult decision that I need to get rid of some of my current friends and replace them with new ones who are more supportive and less draining. Friends should make you feel energized and alive, not drained and exhausted, and after meeting this girl yesterday (let’s call her Maka) I felt energized and refreshed that someone else geeks out about some of the same things as me.
First off, she’s an anime junkie and has gotten me intrigued by several new animes I’d like to watch. She loves manga, gaming, Supernatural, Game of Thrones, and animals. Her dog is named after a wrestler, and she told me she’s not as big into wrestling anymore, but was when she was younger. She is a bit younger than me but that doesn’t bother me. My best friend (we’ll call her Tsubaki) is younger than me and I honestly don’t know where I would be without her.
And sure, Maka has her fair share of problems, but who doesn’t these days? There are days where I truly feel like a starving artist, even though I’m not actually starving. But I try to live within my means, which usually means I will forego something I really want because I don’t have the money to afford it. And the same goes for hanging out with people. There are just some days where I want my peace and solitude because I have learned to enjoy my own company. The best part about that is no one can hurt you or put you down about it. I mean, they can try but I’m not afraid to admit I am a very happy hermit, and my choosing to hang out with someone is an indication that I genuinely like and trust that person.
Rambling tangent aside, meeting Maka yesterday was not only uplifting, but a huge win for me. I’m not the outgoing type so meeting strangers for the first time usually scares the crap out of me (and usually doesn’t end well either, but those are stories for another time). This time I was excited to meet a fellow nerd. I didn’t have an upset stomach from nerves, I wasn’t super jittery from my anxiety, and when I spoke, it wasn’t at a rushed excitable pace. In fact, our conversation flowed almost seamlessly from one topic to the next, and sometimes circled back to the same topics. There were almost no awkward pauses and the whole situation felt natural and easy. Which, for someone who doesn’t make friends easily, made everything that much better
And the best part of all this is that I did it almost entirely on my own. I say almost because technically my mom initiated the Facebook friend request from Maka to me because she and Maka work together. But once I accepted her friend request, I initiated the conversation, I set up the time and date of our meet up, and most importantly, I went to meet her by myself. Usually, the way I used to make friends was simply by proximity to more outgoing personalities. For instance, in college while waiting for a class, I stood near a girl who looked pleasant enough and she started a conversation with me while we waited. Through her, I was sort of welcomed into her circle and through one of her friends, I met two of my current friends. I never did the initiating. I was always the one being approached and welcomed. Well, no more. I might still be skittish about approaching strangers, but I know now that I have the confidence to do it if I really want to.